Coming off a weekend like Cinco de Mayo, one must always be prepared for the crushing blow of alcohol depression. Alcohol depression is that fun part of the hangover that doesn’t produce physical symptoms, but makes you feel like laying in bed all day, crying. I didn’t have the depression from drinking though. The crying didn’t come until Sunday night after a weekend of directing a burlesque show, partying at 7 am, planning events and not sleeping for 40 hours. Oh, and my best dude’s birthday…… I cried for exactly 10 mins.
10 minutes is all you need to cry. With only 24 hours in a day, deciding to spend it crying is exactly Short Bus. ( read retarded) Even writing this post is wasting precious time. My bet though, my thoughts regarding human nature have shown me that, and all of the research on loss state: When people lose their jobs, they tend to freak the fuck out.
Friday, I was laid off. I had my weekend. I woke up today without a plan or direction for the first time in almost 9 years. I left my friend’s house and sent out The Bat Signal via Twitter. My best friend HammerFish sent me a text and I called her. We laughed about not telling anyone because people always ask you 5 million questions about what your next move is, how will you pay for stuff, “what are you going to do?”
I Googled E How to Kill Yourself Quickly, which sent me to How to Lose Weight Quickly. Suicide is and will always be my go-to response for everything. If I can’t figure it out, my response is, “Kill Yourself”. If people around me can’t figure it out, I tell them to kill themselves. We live in a world of public transportation, internet, grants, programs, hookers, drugs, strippers, McDonald’s, welfare. If you can’t negotiate your first step, Kill Yourself.
I’m terrified, but I know Googling Suicide is NOT going to help me find a job. So I’ll do as I always do and figure it out. Sure I just bought a plane ticket and enrolled in college and left my husband and am completely alone in my world, but who the fuck isn’t?! Shut the fuck up. Take a shower. Smoke a cancerstick. Put on pants and jump out the door. It’s a big world and I’m going to tell it to go kill its self. I have bills to pay.
poptartvomitshere 